Asheville, NC

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Related Links Pat Parker talks about how she was able to make peace with the fact that her brother was murdered and how she became a part of the quilt project. Pat Parker talks about how she was able to make peace with the fact that her brother was murdered and how she became a part of the quilt project. Interact Get breaking news & headlines by e-mail Participate in our community forums Newsroom • E-mail Leslie Boyd • Submit a News Tip • Ethics Policy • Write a Letter to the Editor

ASHEVILLE - Pat Parker's brother, Wendell, a "short and round man with merry blue eyes," was murdered on his birthday, June 22, last year.

Carol Dreiling was home from college for Thanksgiving in 1975 when two men broke in, shot and killed her parents and wounded her.

Margaret Fullwood knows the pain from both sides: She lost her oldest son, Daniel Jr., to murder in 1984; her other son, Michael, is in prison for killing his girlfriend in 1985. That sentence was overturned Aug. 16, but Michael Fullwood, who confessed to the crime, remains in prison.

These women and five more, all affected by violence - either by the murder of a loved one or by having a loved one in prison for murder - will gather at Holy Ground for six sessions beginning Sept. 2 to share stories of their loved ones and of their own journeys toward healing as they make a quilt.

At Holy Ground, several quilts hang on the wall already. But this will be different: It will symbolize the willingness of eight women to piece together their lives, building beauty out of the sorrow of loss.

"It will be a piece of beauty meant to bring people together around lines of difference," said Noel Nickle, associate director of Holy Ground, a local nonprofit retreat ministry.

The quilt project grew out of a service of healing held in the spring. Worshippers wrote the names of people who either were murdered or on death row on strips, which then were knotted together. After the service, Nickle asked some of the women who attended if they'd like to create an art quilt for Holy Ground.

"The justice system in this country does a good job of keeping us apart," Dreiling said. "The families of victims and perpetrators aren't encouraged to talk or reach out to each other. But I need human connections, and this (quilting circle) will offer that."

Parker, an ordained minister and retired child protective services social worker, sees this project as a way to honor her brother.

"He loved people, and people loved him," she said. "Anything I do to honor him needs to be life-affirming."

Parker and Fullwood both say they looked to their faith in God to move beyond their bitterness and anger. Fullwood spent time in prayer, asking for the strength to forgive.

"I forgive because on the cross Jesus asked forgiveness for those who were killing him, and it's what I'm called by God to do, too," Fullwood said. "But I couldn't do it alone."

For Dreiling, forgiveness came slowly.

"The darkness lasted eight years," she says. "It took me 15 forgive, and I chose forgiveness for selfish reasons. You choose to forgive to have light in your life instead of darkness."

Contact Boyd at 232-2922 or LBoyd@CITIZEN-TIMES.com.

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